


Cursing and Kissing and Air Ducts, Oh My!

by storywriter8



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: All the Bucky, All the Fluff and Fun, Bad Puns, Bucky Barnes Gets His Hugs, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Returns, Bucky Barnes-centric, Cuddling, Cuddly Steve, Extra Standalone Chapters, Friendship, Humor, I love Bucky, M/M, Memory Issues, Memory Loss, My Strange Humor, Protective Bucky Barnes, Romance, Silly, Snarky Sam Wilson, Stucky - Freeform, Swearing, Tiny bit of Angst, a day in the life, cursing, so many tags so little time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-10-22 02:11:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10687632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storywriter8/pseuds/storywriter8
Summary: Bucky most definitely does NOT follow Steve back to New York. Nor does he dare to hope that the romantic fantasies floating through his head could be real memories.Main story complete, bonus sitcom chapters to follow.





	1. Bucky is NOT the Summer Soldier

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing Marvel related (no duh) and I don’t own the weird and funny stuff I saw on the internet that helped inspired this work.

“Fuck summer.”

With no breeze, it was nearly 90 degrees in the triangle of shade cast by the small stair hutch. A lone figure sat sweated in that shade, glaring across the building’s flat roof at the tall arching monolith of the Avenger’s tower.

“There’s a reason I’m called the WINTER soldier,” he muttered.

It had been three months since the helicarrier had gone down, two months since the man who named him Bucky had returned to the blasted overly protected tower. Half diluted memories of a life with the man called Steve were what drew the soldier to New York, but with each happy memory fitted back into place his heart sank lower.

“Fuck it.”

The setting sun, now low enough to bounce onto his shade, galvanized the man into action. One grappling hook and a hand over hand cable climb later and the assassin slipped through the balcony’s glass doors. With a great sigh the intruder flopped down onto a couch wriggling in delight as a massive amount of cold air washed over him.

“Welcome Sergeant Barnes.”

Panic flipped the cooling soldier onto the floor, making him glaring around wildly. The wide-eyed search revealing no source for the voice. On edge but satisfied in his solidarity, Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes wandered into the kitchen and began poking about. Ignoring most of the weird crap stocked in the cupboard _‘the fuck is a Twinkie?’ _and fridge, Bucky chose a plum and paused to examine a bizarre rectangle of glass left abandoned in the fruit bowl.__

____

____

“… Patience is a virtue!”

Voices echoed up from the far doors. Grabbing his plums and a water bottle the winter soldier beat a hasty retreat into the surprisingly large and unscrewed air duct above the sink.

“… Not a doctor! It’s been three months and you haven’t found one lead!”

Tony Stark gave a very frustrated Steve Rogers a long look. “Did you REALLY just make that pun?”

Thor flopped onto a couch with an iced coffee and voiced his thoughts. “What is this pun? Is it tasty?” 

“When they’re made by Rogers, they’re delicious.” Natasha purred while climbing into what looked like a human sized cat tower.

“Don’t confuse him! We’re still trying to explain wisecrackers.” Bruce grumbled while reorganizing his health food shelf.

Clint snickered and joined Natasha in the carpet and pillow covered steel tower before Sam finally asked the important question. “Why is it so cold in here?”

Seven pairs of eyes turned towards the falcon. “What! It’s like 50 degrees in here and 70 in the hall!”

As everyone chose to comment on, yes, it is rather cold in here, Tony clattered around the kitchen. “Has anyone seen my tablet? JARVIS, why is it so cold in here? Where are the plums I bought yesterday?”

“Haven’t the faintest idea sir”

Bucky fought the urge to jump as the now recognizable AI’s voice echoed though the tower. Now fearing discovery, the soldier began to slide backwards down the, again, surprisingly large air duct when his ‘name’ caused him to freeze.

“…Could find Bucky! Shouldn’t it be no big deal for the GREAT TONY STARK to track down one little assassin?”

“I can’t even find Nat when it’s her night to do dishes! How am I supposed to find a guy who could be anywhere in the world and probably hates technology as much as you! AND WHERE THE HELL IS MY TABLET!? JARVIS!”

“Perhaps you left it in the garage again sir?”

Bucky stopped listening, busy instead memorizing the angle of those shoulders that haunted his fragmented memories. Slim fingers tapping against hip bones were flung into the air before the image of him slipped from sight. Pulling himself back to the complicated and dangerous situation of hiding in the Avengers’ air ducts, the winter soldier slipped silently away. thirty minutes later Bucky’s mounting suspicions of the large and comfortably lit air ducts were confirmed. At a crossroad where three ducts met was a sunk in section of pipe filled with pillows, blankets, a mini fridge and several half-eaten boxes of cookies clearly labeled ‘Clint’s, Fuck off’.

“Is nowhere safe in this stupid tower!”

“Safe enough sir,” a calm and much quieter voice answered. Bucky’s hand landed on his knife and his heart leaped into his throat, dark eyes glaring at every square inch of the space to no avail.

“Apologies Sergeant Barnes, allow me to explain. I am JARVIS, Mr. Stark’s artificial intelligence currently speaking from your left pocket.”

Bucky flipped in fright before scrambling to grab the small pane of clear glass he had pocketed in the kitchen. Words, numbers and diagrams slid and skittered across the glass rectangle as the voice echoed quietly up. “Good evening Sergeant. Please pardon the mess, Mr. Stark’s preferences take forever to clear. There, now, how can I make your stay more pleasant?”

The images had slowed and now the glass displayed a few colored buttons and a black and white photograph of Bucky and Steve from during the war.

“I won’t be staying.” Bucky mumbled edging away from the duct nest.

“Don’t be absurd Sergeant, Mr. Barton and Ms. Romanoff never use this nest anymore and it’s far cooler in here then that rooftop, easier to spy from as well.”

Bucky blushed and looked away from the talking glass. “I …. I I wasn’t… if they catch me!-.“

“Then captain Rogers will give you a very big hug and fight anyone who dares to argue; what’s the real problem?”

Bucky’s shoulders slumped. “I’m not remembering right.”

JARVIS chose its next words carefully. “Mr. Stark has tasked me with seeing to the needs and comfort of the Avengers and their friends. Captain Rogers has asked that I do everything I can to help his best friend. So, Sergeant Barnes, if you feel more comfortable remaining hidden then I will aid you in any way I can.”

Bucky eyed the tablet causally before finally giving in. a small sigh escaped the soldier’s lips as he sunk into the plush pile. “Thank you JARVIS.”

The filtered light in the metal hall dimmed as cool air was adjusted to blow gently through.

“You’re quite welcome Sergeant.”


	2. Bucky is NOT the Pining Soldier

 

 

The supernatural speeded torture of a guitar woke Bucky with a grumbling groan as he covered his head with a pillow.

“Apologies Sergeant, I’ll have Mr. Stark's ‘music’ turned down.”

Bucky snorted and allowed himself a languid stretch. “You call this music.”

 

-

 

Tony bounced his head along with the sounds of Megadeath while carefully soldering a new set of boots. The large stereo sitting far too close to the inventor’s head while blasting metal far too loudly was abruptly shut off. Tony frowned and poked a button and the noise returned before shutting off again. Smacking the box in frustration, Tony fought to keep the music going. The stereo made a loud screeching noise before dying completely.

“JARVIS! JARVIS did you touch my tunes?!”

“Of course not sir, I know better than to throw off your groove.”

“What the hell! Work you stupid piece of crap!”

“Have you tried turning it off and on again sir?”

Tony paused to glare up at his sarcastic ass of an AI.

 

-

 

“That should keep him quiet; you may now return to your sleep Sergeant.”

Bucky paused in his raid of the mini-fridge, frowning at the junk that Natasha and Clint had stocked in it. “What are the others doing?”

JARVIS paused for a moment before sending images across Bucky’s tablet. “Captain Rogers and Dr. Banner are still asleep, Mr. Stark is, of course, making a racket in lab G, Mr. Barton is at the obstacle course while Miss Romanoff is trying on holographic clothes, I believe they have an afternoon at the movies planned. Mr. Wilson and Thor went for a run 47 minutes ago.”

Bucky dragged his finger across the smooth glass, pulling the images back to gaze at the barely visible blonde hidden in darkness and blankets. “Is the kitchen empty?”

 

-

 

Sliding cautiously out of the air vent Bucky relaxed at the emptiness of the kitchen/dining/living room combo near the top of the Avenger’s Tower; known as the commons to its inhabitants. Humming tunelessly Bucky rummaged through the pantry choosing the least disgustingly colorful box of cereal and the bottle of milk that wasn’t made from a type of plant for breakfast.

“Would you like some more pleasant music Sergeant?”

Bucky hesitated, using an extra bite to stall for time, before answering. “I can’t really remember… What I liked?”

A gentle swelling of music filled the room as Judy Garland began to sing ‘over the rainbow’. Bucky scrunched up his face and waving a hand and shaking his head. A soft click and calypso drums began their ringing patter. Bucky allowed the music to play for another bite before shaking his head; still not quite right. This time the soft humming of a guitar began as a male voice declared that he was ‘a creep’. Bucky grinned and allowed the song to find its own conclusion. Bucky had vetoed several classical pieces, decided he liked ‘punk’, and that rock was ‘the shit’ as he finished breakfast.

Bucky had just set his bowl in the drain rack when a familiar song began to boom out of the stereo. Not really realizing what he was doing, Bucky shoved himself away from the sink with a whoop. With the beat bones, toes and heart, Bucky threw himself into Benny Goodman's swinging number.

“Found something you like Sir?”

Laughing in delight, Bucky spun himself around. “Steve and I use to dance to this!’

Bucky lost himself in the music, closing his eyes as his feet beat their memorized pattern on the wood floor. the commons had melted away when his eyes opened again, replaced with a shabby apartment and a blue-eyed angel.

“Sergeant! Incoming!”

 

-

 

Steve’s eyes widened at the music playing in the living room. “Didn’t think anyone besides me listened to swing.”

Bruce yawned, stumbling around Steve to get to the Caffeination Station. “Play it again Jarvis?” Steve called as the song ended.

“Of course Captain, one of your favorites?”

Steve smiled, moving slowly to the music “Yeah, I used to dance to it.”

 

-

 

Bucky slipped down his long metal hallway, trying to squash the hope blossoming at Steve’s overheard words.

“Sergeant?”

Bucky pulled the blankets over his head, arms wrapped so tightly around his knees they restricted his breathing.

“Isn’t this a good thing?” JARVIS questioned hesitantly. “He remembered the same moment as you!”

Bucky shook his head, rubbing his red nose and clumping eyelashes against the ragged fabric of his sweatpants. “NO! It was just a fluke! He can’t remember what I do! He… He can’t… I just…. I need time... To… To remember… Correctly”

“…. Very well Sergeant.”

 

-

 

 Day 5

 

“STAAARRRKKK!!!”

The infernal spinning ‘buffing’ circle was replaced by the sleep deprived scientist. “You screamed?”

Natasha pointed her remote accusingly at the screen and gave Tony her best evil eye. “Stop using all the internet! Say Yes to the Dress keeps buffering every thirty fucking seconds!”

“Language,” echoed over a thick, drying looking volume held by the resident old guy.

Bucky sniggered at the familiar argument drifting up through the duct grating with only a twinge of longing to be the person cussing out Captain America.

Ignoring the profanity, Tony poked about his screen, “Jarvis? Why are we hacking the Smithsonian?”

Bucky flinched, glancing guiltily down at his tablet displaying the percentage of his request for JARVIS to help him ‘see’ his past.

“Don’t you remember sir? It was at your request for more information to locate Sergeant Barnes.”

Tony rubbed his red rimmed eyes. “I did?”

“Well you were coming down from one of your working binges sir, it’s not surprising you don’t recall.”

Tony shrugged and yawned. “Well turn it down and let them watch their show, Bruce! I need to use the coffee!”

“NO! YOU NEED TO USE THE SLEEP, STARK!”

The call ended, cutting off the bickering, and the buffing circle vanished.

“Apologies Sergeant, we will have to redouble our efforts later.” JARVIS’s apologetic voice echoed up from Bucky’s tablet.

Bucky smiled and settled more comfortably. “That’s alright Jarvis. Besides, this show is pretty good!”

 

-

 

Day 11

 

Bucky slipped down into the laundry room. Relaxed now that he had a more in-depth knowledge of the Avenger’s weekly schedule, and the fact that missing Sunday brunch was punishable by his captain’s trademarked Frozen Shoulder. Personalized laundry stations allowed Bucky to find his captain’s clothes with ease. The black sweatpants and nondescript hoodie had long been discarded for the thick scented fabric that hung just below his fingers and toes.

Snooping out of boredom after changing Bucky, decided that the Avengers were strange people. The mix of normal and oversized clothing was understandable in the ‘unbreakable’ station decorated with kittens and all things calming for dear Bruce. Having nearly been eaten by the sentient washing machine, Bucky steered clear of Stark’s grease covered mess. Natasha’s laundry seemed to be half clothes and half weapons that were clearly labeled no heat dry. As Sam and Clint shared a love of birds, their clothes were mixed and revealed nothing outside of an impressive collection of strange socks. Thor’s clothes were half high fashion in green and black, and the wrong size, and half a mix of men’s and women’s clothes in the correct size.

“Why does everyone have at least one pair of Captain America underwear?”

“Miss Romanoff thought it would be funny and Agent Coulson had extras.”

Bucky shook his head and poked at a pile of recently returned dry cleaning before finding something that made him pause. “What the damn hell?”

“Ah yes, one of Mr. Stark’s less idiotic ideas.”

Bucky lifted the thing, part sack, part pajamas, part… bald eagle?

“Onesies! They’re quite the rage these days. I believe that one is Captain Rogers.”

“They look…… Comfortable?” Bucky replied uncertainly, turning the item over to look at the tail sticking out of the back.

“There should be one for you in there, yes that one!”

“… A panda?”

 

-

 

Day 14

 

“Really sir, this seems entirely unnecessary!”

Bucky snorted and carefully continued to pull himself up the long center flue that ran the length of the Avenger’s tower. “If I’m going to remain, and remain in safety, I need to know every inch of this place!”

JARVIS was quiet for a moment before letting out a resigned sigh. “Very well Sergeant. That left will take you to the stairs”

Slipping silently into the stairwell, Bucky finally made it to the very top of the tower. It was night, finally cooling from the long sun filled summer day.

“I thought there’d be stars,” he murmured absently. The loud lights of New York had washed out the dark sky, turning it distant and foreign. While walking around the roof trying to align his memories of the city with the glittering mass blew, Bucky tripped. Barely keeping himself from falling into the previously missed mass near the edge of the roof. A confused look scrunched up his face, “… Is that what I think it is?”

“Mr. Barton and Mr. Wilson are very proud of it”

Bucky carefully stepped into the large nest made of branches and steel. The bird’s nest was so well woven that it safely extended out over the edge with several slots and notches for arrow and gun. Bucky closed one eye and sighted down an imagined scope.

“Not bad. Weird, but not bad.”

 

-

 

Day 27

 

“Movie night! Yeaaaah baby! Moooovieeee night!”

“TONY! WE GET IT! SHUT UP!” Tony dogged the pillow Sam had launched in his general direction and snatched up the DVD case. Waggling the case that displayed a black and white image of a house and the red letters that proclaimed ‘Psycho’. Tony did an over excited crab shuffle in his Iron Man™ onesie over to his wall of tech.

Bucky had previously declined JARVIS’s suggestion to anonymously join the festivities. Sharp screeching sounds and a familiar shriek changed his mind.

“For fucks sakes Rogers! Its chocolate syrup!”

“SHE’S KILLING HER SHE’S KILLING HER OH GOD TURN IT OFF!” Steve had burred himself into Sam’s shoulder, pulling his friend’s fleece falcon wing over his head, and crushing a non-too pleased Natasha-cat in his other arm. Tony and Purple-Bruce were arguing over the remote while the extremely dated horror film continued the ‘grisly’ murder of a young blonde woman. Movie night ended soon after with Natasha and Sam escorting Lion-Thor carrying Steve off to bed, all three promising to watch out for crazy knife wielding mothers.

“Ahhhh! I mean really! If he can’t get through this cheese fest how are we ever going to get to Texas Chainsaw Massacre! Or Saw!” Bruce and Hawk-Clint followed the dejected Tony off to bed.

None of the Avengers could figure out how every copy of every horror movie in the tower was broken and dumped onto Tony’s desk by morning.

 

-

 

Day 44

 

“You’re insane!”

Steve dropped his backpack next to Sam’s and sauntered back past Tony. “No, I’m just tired of sitting around.”

Clint stuck his head through the glass doors of the balcony. “Uh guys?”

“You can’t just RUN OFF TO RUSSIA!” Tony shouted back.

Clint tried again. “Guuuys!”

“You’ve had months to find a lead Stark! Months!”

“Helloooo? Guuuuys?”

“Yeah! Well! I’m close enough to tell you he’s NOT in RUSSIA!”

“GUYS!”

Both Steve and Tony rounded on Clint. “WHAT!”

“Barnes is at the front door, just so you know.”

-

Bucky slowly turned and started pacing back down the sidewalk.

“On his way down Sergeant.”

Bucky snorted and checked his watch. “Two hours, congratulations Jarvis, I owe you a dollar. Apparently, it was a COMPLETE waste of time to hide from them on a fucking ROOFTOP.”

Steve skidded out the front door, glancing wildly around. Light blue eyes locked onto a sweat shirted figure.

Letting out a shaky sigh Bucky moved off, slow enough to let his captain follow. “Here we go.”

The pair moved through the city with Bucky careful to keep Steve at a distance until he was in range.

Steve shouted as Bucky bolted and tore off after him. Following Bucky’s sharp right turn down a sloped driveway, Steve slowed as he reached the covered dead end, looking helplessly at the bare walls and ceiling.

Bucky dropped silently down behind Steve, quickly slamming the barred gate. The padlock snapped into place as Steve reached the Bars.

“Bucky!” warm, rough hands caught the fingers of Bucky’s left hand. Bucky let his old friend’s hand rest against his cheek for a breath longer than he should have before pulling away. he walked backwards for a few steps before turning to leave.

“Why!” Bucky stopped at the sound, a raw bark thick with tears ready to fall. “Why now! Why do you keep leaving me!”

Bucky turned half way to look back. Steve’s hands were back at his sides clenched into fists.

“Incoming Sir”

the faint sounds of repulsors echoed down the slope, but Bucky stayed still. “I need time… And … I’m not in Russia.”

Bucky was long gone when Tony and Sam found Steve, sitting with his side pressed against the bars. “He’s watching us.”

 

-

 

Day 50

 

Tensions were high after Bucky’s little romp around town, high enough to chase the recovering soldier out of the ducts to wander the tower’s lower floors. Avoiding windows and looking over shoulders had become the norm, even with Steve; it was unbearable.

“Captain Roger’s new motorcycle is just over there Sergeant. Care for a ride?”

Bucky blinked just not realizing he had ended up in the garage. He couldn’t help but smirk a bit. “Ahhh Jarvis, you know just how to cheer me up don’t you.”

“Quite, sir.”

The rumble and vibration of the motor between his thighs calmed Bucky’s nerves. It was as calming as the stock of a Johnson rifle pressed into his shoulder, as a shot of that crap whiskey the commandos always had lying around, as soft breaths ghosting across his chapped lips as Steve pulled away to memorize the lines of Bucky’s face.

Bucky shook his head and sped out of the garage, running away from him ‘memories’.

Months. He had spent months trying to sort of real memories from the sexually frustrated fantasies that insisted on sticking in his mind. Fantasies of winters spent pressed together for warmth in a tiny apartment in the far-off land of pre-war New York. Fantasies of the night after his rescue, spent in reassurance that this figure of health and strength really was his Steve. Fantasies of the days and nights spend fighting and loving during the war. Such fantasies were dangerous, impossible and taking up all of Bucky’s time to squash.

Wouldn’t it be easier, if he wasn’t in love with his best friend.

 

-

 

Day 58

 

Steve bit back a curse as he stomped into his boots and nearly fell over. Sam fully dressed in jetpack and armor, snatched up Steve’s shield and ran for the balcony. “Don’t forget your armor!”

“There’s no time for armor!” Steve snapped, trying to block out the blaring alarms.

Steve ran through the halls headed to the fight, hopefully before the battle was over; he could use a face to punch. Cutting through a side corridor Steve slid to a stop as the far door slammed shut. Glancing behind Steve saw the door he’d entered through close as well before the hall was plunged into darkness. A light flickered to life above Steve revealing a long-haired figure.

“Buc-“

Steve staggered at the force Bucky had put behind his punch. “There’s ALWAYS time for armor! You fucking… reckless… PUNK!”

Bucky continued to cuss a bewildered Steve out as he non-too gently buckled the captain’s armor on. As the last strap was tightened he fell silent.

Steve let out an unsteady breath and reached up to gently touch his friend's face. “Bucky?”

Bucky looped his arms around Steve’s neck and leaned his cheek into his captain’s palm. “Just… Wish I could go with. Had to fucking twist my ankle, didn’t I.”

Steve’s confusion was momentary and he chose his words carefully, aligning them as close as he could to the moment Bucky was reliving. “Don’t pout, you’ll be back out there watching my back and sniping Nazi scum in no time.”

Bucky’s gloom darkened and he sighed into Steve’s palm.

“I have to go. Buck? I’ll be back, I promise. I’m with you to the end of the line”

Bucky finally looked Steve in the eyes. The breath Steve hadn’t realized he’d been holding vanished as Bucky jerked his arms down, dragging Steve forward. Steve held back his tears as Bucky pressed their lips together. The soldiers clutched each other as close as they could, treating this small moment small moment of intimacy as the treasure it was.

Bucky pulled slowly away as an urgent voice echoed around them. The voice called for Steve but it wasn’t one of the team, it sounded like…

Bucky’s eyes shot wide as Tony yelled for Steve to ‘get his ass out here and help’.

“Buck…” Steve’s voice broke as his friend backed away with one hand clamped across his mouth in dawning horror. “Please.”

Bucky bolted, running through the now open doors with Steve desperately chasing after him.

Rounding the corner just in time, Steve saw Bucky drop and slide down into an air duct.

“Any time you wanna lend a hand Cap!” Tony snapped.

Steve ran a palm across his eyes and turned towards the next door. “On my way.”

With one last resolute glance at the duct and Captain America joined the fight.


	3. Bucky IS the Loved Soldier

“He’s in the vents!?”

Tony flinched and glared over his shoulder at Clint. “Keep your voice down! And move slower! I can only keep a small area hidden from Jarvis!”

“He’s in the vents!?” Clint whispered this time.

“I can’t believe your AI is hiding my best friend in the tower!”

Tony spared a moment to shoot a withering look at Steve.

“Don’t start guys. Clint, Nat, sweep the vents and meet us in the commons.” Sam relieved his emotionally compromised captain and took charge, gently pushing the team upstairs.

 

-

 

 Two days and numerous sweeps of the tower later, even Thor was having trouble staying positive. Steve paced beside the kitchen while the others sat nearby waiting for Clint to return.

“Found where he’s been sleeping,” Clint murmured, sliding down the wall and pushing off the sink. “An old nest near Stark’s lab; hasn’t been back since the fight. Sorry Cap, looks like he took off.”

Steve stopped pacing and places his hands flat on the flowery kitchen table cloth. With a shout of frustration, he slammed a fist against the surface of the table. An equally loud thud answered from under the table.

“… Ow…… Oooowwwww.” Bucky rolled onto his side. Having been violently jolted out of his nap Bucky’s reflexes had bashed his head on the underside of the table.

“Bucky?”

Bucky went cold. Sliding slowly to one side of the table, he pulled himself up to peak over the tabletop. “Oh crap.”

Steve leapt forward and was caught in the gut as Bucky kicked the table out. Bucky made a break for the balcony, dodging a flying Clint with a sideways roll. Thor and Natasha managed to get in front of the glass doors causing Bucky to skid across the coffee table as he changed directions towards the hallway door.

“FRIDGE!” Tony began yelling as Bucky slide between Sam’s legs, pulling him down in the process. “FRIDGE! FRIDGE FRIDGE FRIDGE FRIDGE FRIDGE!”

Bruce ran away from his babbling friend, throwing a punch that caused Bucky to turn his back to said appliance. Bucky staggered, trying to regain his footing as a loud hum filled the air. Unable to brace himself, Bucky’s right arm dragged him backwards. As his already injured head slammed into a metal surface Bucky’s world went black.

 

-

 

“… Who the fuck builds a super magnet into a refrigerator!?”

“It’s called boredom Samwise! Ever heard of it!?”

“The blue one, Sir.”

“Don’t start with me Jarvis! You’re still on my shit list!”

“Language!”

The deep thrum of the familiar scold warmed Bucky’s heart; although his head remained foggy at best. “English.” He quipped.

 the slurred comeback from the presumed unconscious assassin silenced the bickering. As the voices started back up, too quiet and hissy to focus on, Bucky took stock. His head fucking hurt, his right arm was stuck awkwardly above him and he was cradled in someone’s arms. The arms were gentle and firm, hands rubbing soothing circles on his side and thigh with their thumbs. The arms were definitely Steve’s. Bucky tried to open his eyes or reassure his lover of his health. After failing both endeavors Bucky decided that sleep and burying himself into the crook of Steve’s neck seemed like the best plan. Surrounded by the comforting strength and scent of Steve Rogers, Bucky fell asleep with a smile on his lips.

 

-

 

It was dark when next Bucky woke. His head still hurt but not enough to hide the feeling that something wasn’t quite right.

Steve was here, healthy and strong, arms a but tighter than normal but with an injury it was understandable. The bed was a bit large, but the cotton sheets and wool blankets felt right. It was too warm to be a tent, which made sense considering the bed.

Wait, why was he wearing gloves?

Bucky gently tried to pull away and get a look at his hands. Steve’s arms tightened, pulling him closer. Bucky sighed, “Steve… Steeeve. Come on Doll, my arm’s gone to sleep.”

Finally pulling free Bucky rolled and stretched his shoulders, trying to get some feeling back into his right arm.

“Mmm…. Did you change my clothes?”

Steve sat up, brows and voice thick with worry, “Yes.”

The shortness of Steve’s answer caused Bucky to look again. “What is it? Steve, I’ll be fine, what wrong?”

Steve shuddered as Bucky ran a gloved thumb across his lips. “I … I keep losing you, and … I’m afraid.”

Bucky slid back into Steve’s arms. “I’m not going anywhere, I promised you, when we win this war-“

“No!” Steve pulled away from Bucky’s hands, shaking his head, tears beginning to shine in his eyes.

Bucky gazed in helpless bewilderment as Steve gathered his courage, taking a slow jagged breath. “The war is over Buck.”

Bucky straightened, his eyes flickering to his right hand.

“Bucky please, please don’t!-“

Bucky fought to free his hand, tearing at the gloves that covered them. Even in the dark the steel fingers shone. Bucky jerked away, falling off the bed, his head screaming as loud as Steve. Bucky managed to make it to the corner of the room before his dizziness won over. With the ringing in his ears drowning out Steve for the moment, Bucky made himself busy trying to shrink down and disappear.

“- Concussion.”

Well, that would explain it.

They were in Steve’s quarters in the Avengers towers and as all the air duct vents had been boarded up Bucky very much doubted that the doors or windows would work.

Steve sank to his knees in front of the bed, head bowed in frustration. “Fine, you hate me, I’ll take the hint! But you’re hurt and-“

Bucky stared at Steve in shock. “I … I don’t hate you. Why would you think that! Steve I-“ Quickly he forced his mouth shut as the dangerous words welled up against his lips.

Steve raised his head cautiously. “You what?”

Bucky shook his head.

“You what Barnes!?”

Bucky shrunk even smaller, refusing to look at Steve.

“Please Buck, I don’t need Paris,” Steve was begging now, desperate for any sign of the man he lost. “I just-“

“What did you say?” Bucky had raised his head, confusion furrowing his brows.

“… I don’t need Paris?”

“But … That’s … You CAN’T know that!”

The pieces began to click together in Steve’s head and he slowly moved forward. “You promised me Paris, a life together after the war, a life of peace and painting-“

“NO! YOU CAN’T KNOW THAT! YOU CAN’T!” Bucky shouted, shaking hands coming up to cover his ears and drag at his hair.

Steve gently slid his hand up Bucky’s arms, untangling his fingers from dark locks. “You told me you would never leave again, that you loved me.”

Bucky, petrified, stared at Steve through the tears sliding down his cheeks.

“I said you was a dreamer, but that there were worse fates then loving a dreamer. I love you Bucky Barnes. Please, just try and remember.”

Bucky’s voice cracked, “Try? All I remember is you loving me! Nothing else.” he let out a weak laugh, “How would it all be real if I can’t remember anything else!”

Steve rested his forehead against Bucky’s. “Do you still love me?” he whispered.

Eyes fluttering shut, Bucky told his heart’s truth. “I could never do anything but.”

Steve chuckled softly, “Then stop fighting and let me love you!”

Drained of all energy, Bucky let Steve pull him close. Wrapped in a warmth that seeped into his very bones with Steve gently wiping away his tears, Bucky let go of the impossible as their breath mingled. His own lips were chapped, Steve’s soft and slick and sliding with the speed of repressed longing finally, FINALLY, breaking free.

Bucky reached up, softly caressing before digging his metal fingers ever so slightly into the back of the blonde’s neck and pulling a fraction away. “I could kill you, you know.”

Steve smiled, kissing his metal palm and sliding his own hands along the bottoms of his lover’s thighs. Bucky’s heart skipped a beat, groaning into Steve’s shoulder and wrapping his legs around sharp hips. Despite Bucky’s lips wandering distractingly, sucking and biting their brand into the firm flesh of the crook of his neck, they made it back to the bed without trouble. Sitting now, the kisses deepened with a faint moan, Bucky’s lips parting easily. Steve reveled in the wet warmth of his lover’s mouth before yielding as Bucky pressed into him. Reassuring himself that his memories of the long nights of past love making were real Bucky attempted to push Steve down.  Bucky whined as he was gently forced back to rest his injured head against a pillow.

“Concussion.” Steve hummed, tapping a finger to the tip of his lover’s nose.

“Fuck it!” Bucky growled.

Bucky squeaked as Steve let his weight drop, pinning him to the bed with a smirk on his lips.

“If you insist.”

 

-

 

Tony glanced from his tools, spread out on the kitchen floor to Bruce, who was angrily drinking his coffee and trying hard to ignore Tony’s puppy dog eyes. “Do I hav-“

“YES! You know for a man with a hunk of metal in his chest keeping him alive you have a bizarre love of magnets!”

Tony grumbled and went back to dismantling the super magnet in the refrigerator door. Natasha scooted Tony out of the way with her foot to retrieve the cream before speaking. “Anyone heard from Steve yet?”

“Captain Rogers-“

“Oh no! I don’t want to hear a peep out of you Mister!” Tony shouted, cutting JARVIS off.

The room quickly filled with shouting on behave of and against JARVIS.

Steve stood in the doorway shaking his head at the racket before clearing his throat loudly. Six heads turned towards the door and Clint laughed. “Heeeey! You’re not dead! Where’s the lurker?”

Steve arched an eyebrow and took a step to the side. Bucky ducked his head and reached out to grab the back of Steve’s shirt.

“Go on.” Steve encouraged, gently pushed Bucky out in front.

Bucky stalled, looking back at Steve several times before finally speaking. “Forgive Jarvis and I’ll let you study my arm.”

Tools went flying as Tony leapt forward, ripping Bucky’s right sleeve clean off “No hard feelings Jarvis, I’m sure you had out best interests at heart! LOOK AT THIS!”

Bruce eventually dragged the over excited scientist back to his dismantling project, pausing to give Bucky a warm smile.

Natasha was next and Bucky only just managed to block the leg she swung at him. _“Not bad.”_ She purred in Russian

Bucky smirked and responded in kind. _“Does that mean I can join Wedding Dress Wednesdays?”_

Natasha’s grin grew, throwing an arm over Bucky’s shoulders she shot a saucy look at Steve. “Careful Cap, I might just have to steal this little treat.”

Clint cackled, high fiving Bucky as he pulled Natasha away. Thor was too busy stuffing his face to comment but raised a mug to the newest Avenger. Sam was the least impressed and walked away without comment or smile.

“It’s a start.” Steve murmured, handing Bucky a cup of coffee and pulling him out onto the balcony.

Half a cup of coffee passed before either spoke.

“You’re not going to run off on my now, are you?”

The casual fear in Steve’s voice hurt to hear and Bucky was quick to fix it. Sliding himself between Steve and the railing, Bucky took his face between flesh and steel.

“I’m with you, to the end of the line.”

Old promises were renewed with each kiss, along with a great deal of delighted screaming from the less observant Avengers now reveling in their friend’s happiness and love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHT!
> 
> First, please go easy on this aromantic’s attempt to create a romantic kissing scene, I promise I will get better! And thank you to my editors who helped me fix the crap-fest that was my first draft.
> 
> Second, the dialog in italics is being spoken in Russian, because I don't speak Russian and don't trust google translate.
> 
> Third, this is technically the last chapter of the main story. The follow chapters will be extra ‘sitcom’ chapters because I enjoy fluffy humor.
> 
> Fourth, yall are awesome. Don’t ever forget that. And thank you for reading!


	4. Bucky Prefers the Silver One OR the Avengers go to the Mall

“You can’t just stay cooped up in the tower forever!”

Bucky closed his book, “Yes I can.”

Tony tried again, “We’ll take you somewhere nice! Somewhere fun!” Bucky didn’t bother to repeat himself so Tony fell back on his tried and true tactic: whining. Coommeee ooooooonnnnnn!”

Bucky rolled his eyes as the bored genius flopped across the couch and ‘conveniently’ on top of his bent legs. “Nice and fun equals people which equals no.”

Tony pouted, chin resting against Bucky’s knees and chest against his shins.

“Sir, if Sergeant Barnes’s main objection is people…” JARVIS trailed off pointedly.

Tony leapt to his feet with a smile. Bucky swallowed hard, that look spelled one word, and that was Trouble, capitalized, in neon, with several exclamation marks. “I’m going to hate this, aren’t I?”

Tony cackled, “I need my check book, cell phone and Natasha’s death glare! You, my DEAR panda, are going to the mall!”

 

-

 

“He BOUGHT a MALL??!” Steve stared at the guarded glass doors of a recently opened shopping mall.

Bucky sighed, shaking his head while Sam and Bruce gave the building a ‘what the fuck’ look. Natasha and Tony bounded through the automatic doors, past the sun-glassed, black suited body guards and down the stairs to their confused friends. Tony flung his arms wide, “No people! No complaints! Let’s get! It! On!”

Tony and Natasha dragged Bucky towards through the glass doors and towards a Spa screaming ‘makeover’ while Bruce tried his best to look like he wasn’t with them and beat a hasty retreat towards the yoga studio. Clint wandered off to explore with Thor as Sam and Steve scrambled to catch up with the soldier kidnappers.

 

-

 

“I don’t understand the point of this” Bucky halfheartedly grumbled, examining his dark sparkly purple fingernails.

“It’s fun” Natasha said flexing her blood red toes and relaxing into her massage.

“And relaxing” Tony added, readjusting the cucumber over his eyes with a gold painted finger.

Bucky allowed his manicurist to start on his feet before glancing across the room where Sam and Steve were getting their nails done. The two were chatting easily, Sam causing Steve to laugh. Crushing the feeling that was most definitely NOT jealously, Bucky went back to examining his nails. _“Nat, what’s SAM’S”_ Bucky glared in said soldier’s direction before continuing in Russian. _“Favorite food?”_

_“Not sure, why?”_ Natasha kept her voice level and eyes down.

Bucky continued to glare at a now confused and worried Sam _. “He’s my boyfriend’s best friend, who I know nothing about and who refuses to talk to me. Something about kicking him off a building I guess.”_

_“He’s a good guy, you don’t need to worry. he’s been helping STEVE”_ Natasha shot the blonde a dangerous look. _“With his PTSD and is loyal to a fault.”_

_“Who are we fucking with? Can I get in on this?”_ Tony asked, sitting up.

Natasha and Bucky stared at Tony who glared at Steve and Sam. _“What? I had a Russian nanny!”_

 

-

 

“The hell are they talking about!” Sam hissed, nervously fidgeting with his dark gray nails decorated with white birds.

Steve ducked his head and tried to casually examined his blue and red started fingers. “Don’t know, but whatever it is, we are so screwed.”

 

-

 

After ditching Steve and Sam during their massages, Natasha and Tony dragged Bucky from store to store. The first stop was at Sephora.  Bucky tried to blend in and seem like he wasn’t with Tony while stocking up on eye liner. Tony had every employee monopolized and was going full on drag. Natasha ignored both boys and went through the perfume, testing out different scents and trying to figure out if Marc Jacobs or L’amour Lalique would work best to weaponize. The three left the store with too much makeup and a concerning amount of concealing products.

Going to Lush was a mistake as Hot Topic was next door and it took about an hour and Thor’s muscles to drag Bucky out.

Steve and Sam finally found the others by following the shouts echoing out from Nordstrom.

“No! it looks terrible! The red one is much better!”

Natasha, hands on her hips, glared at Tony. “You are not dressing an ex-Russian assassin in red! The blue one is far superior!”

Clint, hanging upside down from a wall rack, offered his opinion. “I like the purple one.”

“I don’t want to have an opinion” Bruce mumbled from inside a circle clothing rack.

“GOLD!” Thor shouted eagerly, not really understanding what they were talking about.

“Gold what?” Steve asked, slipping through to the dressing rooms.

A strangled squeak echoed from the door everyone had gathered around. Tony and Natasha grinned wickedly at Steve’s approach. “Just in time Cap! Come settle this for us, put the red one on!”

Natasha turned on Tony and the bickering started back up, each yelling a different color.

“I’m not coming out!” Bucky growled, cutting out the shouting.

“Oh come on!”

“Just come out.”

“Don’t forget to tape his reaction!”

Natasha rolled her eyes, slipped under the door and began arguing with Bucky in Russian. Eventually silence fell and Natasha rolled back out grinning. A few moment later the door opened. Sam clapped his hand over his eyes and stumbling backwards into a clothing rack with a horrified shout. Steve stood, his very dry mouth hanging agape and face turning scarlet as he stared at his lover. Bucky fidgeted with the silver see-through fabric of the lingerie top and strategically opaque shorts. Peaking bashfully through his hair, Bucky watched his boyfriend sputter.

“No, see, the red one has better lines!” Tony grabbed an even skimpier outfit and held it in front of Bucky, causing Steve to grow even redder. Natasha began waving around an elegant blue number and the shouting started up again. The disagreement ended when Bruce calmly asked if they would like Hulk to settle the issue; The group quickly broke up, wandering off to find their own clothes.

Still flushed but moving with purpose, Steve pushed Bucky back into the dressing room, locking the door behind. “What the hell are you doing?” Steve murmured against Bucky’s neck, pulling the straps of the lingerie top down.

Bucky hummed happily as he was pressed into the back wall. “Seeing you flustered is entertaining.”

Steve’s breath was hot as he left off the mark he’d been making on his lover’s collar. “And?”

It was Bucky’s turn to blush as he was relieved of his top “Tired of you laughing with Sam, that was my job.”

Steve melted, pulling Bucky close. “Oh Buck... After all the hell I’ve been through to get you back, you’re stuck with me; 'til the end of the line."

Steve pressed kiss after kiss to Bucky’s lips, forehead, cheeks and shoulders. He paused just below Bucky’s ear, murmuring smugly. “Besides, Sam’s got a prince lusting after his ass.”

Bucky gave a snort of laughter and got dressed. The group moved out but not before Tony and Natasha shot Bucky sly looks as the silver outfit and a black number found their way into his bag.

 

-

 

The Avengers took a sandwich break next, that ended in a marshmallow war, before headlining off to Crate and Barrel.

“Why does Bucky need a room? He stays with me!” Steve slouched in a wicker chair as Tony held up bed sheet fabrics number 23 and 24 for Bucky to pick from.

“Quit whining Rogers, you’ll thank me when you’re still sleeping in a bed instead of the couch when he finds out about the para….” Tony trailed off as Steve began flailing wildly to get him to shut up.

Bucky’s eyes narrowed. “Para what?”

Steve stopped flailing as Bucky turned from Stark to glare at him. “Found out about what!?”

Steve mumbled some lame excuse about para trooper figurines.

“WHAT DID YOU DO ROGERS!” Bucky was glaring savagely now, a snarl on his lips.

Sam laughed and flung an arm over Bucky’s shoulders. “Now THIS is fun!”

Clint saved Steve by running up, practically bouncing up and down in excitement. “Guys! There an animal shelter here!”

All shopping activates were abandoned as the Avengers assembled to play with the animals. Natasha and Bruce quickly ODed on bunny love while Clint and Sam laid claim to every avian in the place. Thor found a python to loop over his neck and arms, mumbling something about missing his brother, or was it his nephew? Steve immediately bonded with a rescue Pitbull, insisting on adopting and naming her Lady Liberty. Tony was recording the whole ordeal, laughing his ass of the entire time.

“Stark, Stark! STARK!”

Tony turned as Bucky ran up, a small furry blob in his arms. “What, what! What?!”

Bucky silently lifted a three-legged Ragdoll kitten up into Tony’s face. Tony burst into tears as a small rough tongue licked his nose.

“What on earth? Is that a cat?” Natasha gave the blubbering pair a critical look.

Bucky stomped his foot and wiped his eyes. “SHUTUP! His name is Star Bustark AND WE LOVE HIM!”

 

-

 

By the end of the day no one, including Tony, knew how much Stark money was spent but the final count included:

Five mani-pedis

One dancing/singing Santa Claus

Enough makeup to keep all the men in drag for months

Sixteen bath bombs

Four leather jackets

One giant novelty coffee cup

Thirty-six pairs of shoes

Two Zen gardens

Seven personalized cat ear headphones

Seven custom suits

Two boxes of chocolates, made in Seattle

One winter wardrobe, lingerie included

Eight sandwiches

Two chimichangas that no one remembered eating

Twenty-nine patio cushions

Zero patio furniture

Two ball gowns in Thor’s size

One set of golf clubs

Every released season of Say Yes to the Dress and RuPaul’s Drag Race on DVD

One Van Gogh umbrella

Sixteen giant animal plushies

Two rabbits

Six parakeets

One duck

One Pitbull

One three-legged cat

Three rolls of real gold leaf toilet paper

One Nicholas Cage as Mona Lisa phone case

Two boxes and a pair of fussy handcuffs in a nondescript bag

One life size gremlin

One giant dogs playing poker painting

One three pack of nail decals of the golden girls

And two egg chairs

 

Shopping with the Avengers: priceless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my editors and the lovely people who think up the head-cannons that make me cackle, thank you. 
> 
> Dialog in Italics is in Russian.


	5. Bucky is Confused by Twinkies

“I’m telling you! It’s the perfect food!”

Bruce rolled his eyes at Tony, lazily flipping the pages of his book, “It’s wasteful and takes forever. I don’t even know why you like it!”

Tony gasped and clutched at his chest dramatically spluttering. He carried on, flinging himself on to the designated fainting couch with a hand placed to his brow, oh the horror! That’s when the millionaire was hit by a million-dollar idea. “THAT IT! I WILL prove you wrong! DEMOCRATICALLY! The whole tower is fonduing tonight!”

Bucky choked, spitting milk everywhere as his face turned vermillion. “WHAT!”

Tony and Bruce stared in confusion at the flustered soldier, who was now fanning his flushed face.

“The whole tower!? I may swing, but really!?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Tony asked narrowing his eyes.

Bucky glanced around before whispering back bashfully. “Fondue! With the whole tower!?”

“I think we’re having a breakdown in communication.” Bruce said slowly.

Steve and Sam walked in at that point, pausing at the sight of Bucky blushing heavily.

“Ookkkaa,” Sam drawled, “what’s going on?” He asked cautiously.

Tony turned to glare suspiciously at Steve. “Fondue.”

A look of understanding followed by a sheepish smile passed across the captain’s face. “Ohhhh, I may have thought that was code for sex at one point. And never corrected Bucky.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeaaaaaaah.”

Tony clapped his hands. “Ok then! Jarvis, initiate break up protocol Beta!” Tony paused to give Bucky a speculative look. “And update the orgy file.”

 

-

 

45 minutes, $895, and three slaps to Tony’s face later…

 

The commons was covered in food. Bouillabaisse, udon and wonton soup were piled around the sink. The countertops contained several containers of Chinese food, fruits that looked like they were from space and a rainbow of drinks. On the island, there was an impressive area of sushi, sashimi, shawarma and a brown paper bag filled with a mix of unmarked empanadas being displayed. Four different curries, a pineapple pizza, a selection of unrecognizable foods that had been deep fried and six fondue pots littered the kitchen table. Junk food, from Oreos to Doritos covered every other surface and spilled onto the living room floor.

The avengers lounged around the coffee table, watching the Muppets and eating shawarma and bubble tea. Bucky bit the bizarre bundle of sauce covered meat and veggies that Steve shoved into his face before going back to stare at the blue box in his hands. “Why would anyone want to eat these? I can’t pronounce over half of these words!”

Tony snatched the box away. “Dude! Don’t read what’s in it! That spoils the deliciousness!”

Clint laughed and dumped a bag of Skittles onto his pizza before chowing down, prompting Bruce to gag loudly, grabbed Bucky’s empty plate and head for the kitchen. “Don’t listen to them Barnes, this crap will make you sterile!”

Bruce handed a refilled plate of vegan curry and salmon sashimi to the soldier. Bucky accepted the plate automatically. “And the name?” he questioned, filling his fork. “What the hell does Twinkie mean? Sounds like something Sam punched a man in the face for saying.”

Sam snorted into his pork fried rice and yakisoba. “I was justified. And Twinkies are over rated.”

“Oh yeah, Moon Pies are better!”

“Häagen-Dazs, Bitch”

Dinner quickly disintegrated into the Olympics of snack foods.

Steve grinned as Bucky tentatively slid a Twinkie between his lips, his face scrunching up at the taste. “Weird…. Sugar overload….”

“Come ‘ere” Steve purred, pulling Bucky closer to lick a bit of cream off his bottom lip.

Bucky’s eyes misted over as Steve turned and devoured the rest of the pastry down to licking clean the metal fingers. Steve was still grinning as he pulled away, eyes dark. “Full?”

Bucky half stood, crouching over his captain. “Not yet.”

Thor glanced up from dipping calamari into a chocolate fondue as the other argued, looking for the two whose voices were missing in the cacophony. “Where did the captain and his sergeant go?”

Sam sniggered into a bag of pork rinds. “They left to try whipped cream together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got very hungry writing this and I really want a Twinkie now....
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING!


End file.
